The teenage and young adult years can be challenging periods of transition, where a variety of social-emotional changes occur. Navigating these changes include developing coping skills to muster resilience, which is essentially, recovering with a sense of self-efficacy from challenging situations. A powerful yet overlooked internal resource that can nurture resilience in the youth is solitude.
Are you alone or lonely?
Understanding the difference between alone and loneliness is integral for emotional wellbeing. Let’s look at what each of these mean…
- Alone: Being alone means being in a state of solitude, where you are in a physical state of not being around people. Being alone can be a choice and it doesn’t necessarily involve negative emotion.
- What can it feel like to be alone? You may find a sense of peace, clarity, and creativity. You may even get inspired to become more self-reflective and tap into your thoughts, emotions, and ideas, growing a little bit more comfortable in your own skin.
- Lonely: Feeling lonely is an emotional state of isolation and disconnection. This can happen when one is in the presence of others or when one is alone.
- What can it feel like to be lonely? Loneliness can cause one to feel anxious, sad, and hopeless. It can occur when people are alone for prolonged period of times as well.
The hard truth:
Life can bring a range of stressors that activate the sympathetic nervous system, fueling cortisol in the body. This can be particularly overwhelming for teens and young adults who may find themselves without support due to various reasons. These include but are not limited to the following:
- Changing Schools: Adapting to different academic and social settings involves some degree of instability. Those who are constantly changing schools have to adjust to the newness of the routine on a frequent basis, which can be overwhelming.
- Navigating personal authenticity: Sometimes, it can be difficult for teens and young adults to find a sense of belonging in the community that they are in or have to be a part of. This leads to feelings of isolation and even rejection in some cases.
- Family instability: Some teens & young adults are dealing with stressors at home, and they can feel isolated and anxious as a result of this.
- Loss of Friendships: Due to evolving interests and social-emotional changes, the teens and young adults may face friendship drifts and/or breakups. This can leave a teen feeling confused and stressed out as well.
What is the value of solitude in relation to resilience?
Spending time alone, without distractions, can be an extremely beneficial internal tool that the youth can utilize when they need to. There are so many benefits of solitude and some of the major ones include the following:
- Normalizing a relationship with the self: Reducing feelings of awkwardness when alone.
- Becoming comfortable in your own skin: Building a sense of self-acceptance.
- Developing internal resources: Cultivating self-reliance and self-trust for the long-term.
- Mental flexibility: Being able to adapt to changing circumstances, especially during difficult times.
- Personal Growth: Engaging in self-reflection by practicing internal listening.
- Problem-solving: Enhancing decision-making skills.
- Self-reliance: fostering a sense of autonomy.
Strategies:
As a caregiver who has teens or young adults at home, It can be helpful to normalize spending time alone by modeling doing things that you love to by yourself. When the youth can actually see that being alone does not necessarily equate to isolation or sadness, it is easier for them to replicate similar acts with a spirit of courage rather than fear.
Some activities that young people can do alone to practice solitude can include the following:
- Reading a book
- Going for a walk
- Journaling
- Meditation/prayer
- Engage in arts and crafts
Depending on the sociocultural norms and the context of where the young adult is living, some activities can also include the following:
- Solo travel
- Visiting a museum
- Taking yourself out for a meal
- Going to watch a movie
Concluding note:
Finding the balance of practicing solitude and immersing in social interactions is key. This looks different for each teen & young adult. Resilience building also depends on the protective factors, or buffers in the teen or young adult’s life. These protective factors include support figures and coping skills in one’s life. Encouraging the youth to enjoy their own company can inspire them to form a better relationship with themselves. Therefore, solitude can serve as an internal reminder that it is okay to trust in yourself.
